Lobster Is Red
by AStormIsBrewing
Summary: Zuko. Katara. And the Disney songs that ruined the moment. Happy Valentine's Day.
1. Lobster Is Red

Disclaimer : If I owned Avatar 'Money isn't what I had in mind,' would have turned out a whole lot weirder.

I got this idea from a friend of mine, who watched CoD and said she couldn't get the song out of her head. I had been on a bit of a writers block, so I jumped the idea and ran with it.

So here's my countdown to Valentines Day. Weirdest holiday in the history of forever that I don't really celebrate, but it gives me chocolate, so I pretend to. I think it's only fair that I celebrate it by abusing my favorite ship, among others.

* * *

**Lobster Is Red**

* * *

Zuko closed his eyes, allowing the Avatar's waterbender to place her hand on his scar. No one else had ever, ever been this close, and though the girl did not know the rarity of this moment, she seemed to understand its significance. The firebender should have been hopeful, but instead, the sensation he felt in his gut terrified him.

_But there's something about her  
And you don't know why  
But you're dying to try  
You wanna kiss the girl . . ._

A few minutes later Aang and Iroh busted through the walls of a cave, to come upon a rather strange sight : Katara, using her waterbending, Zuko, using his firebending, to cook a strange, crab-like creature. "Um . . . what's going on?"

"Hey, Aang," Katara replied cheerily, glancing up from her task. "We got hungry, and there were these little singing crustaceans just lying around, so we thought we'd make a snack."

"They're pretty good," Zuko said. "You want one, uncle?"


	2. And That Makes Aang Blue

Disclaimer : If I owned Avatar, Zuko would have covered himself in honey so that Katara would lick him.

In case you didn't realize, the lobster will be a recurring theme.

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**And That Makes Aang Blue**

* * *

Aang let out a long, disgruntled sigh, letting off steam like a pressure cooker. "It's never going to end, is it?" 

Bickering. Prodding. Arguing. At least they weren't yet at the point of all-out brawling.

Overall, Zuko's decision to join them had had a positive impact on the group — Aang was finally learning firebending, someone was actually putting meat on the table (Sokka's efforts were valiant but his results were lacking,) and Sokka had a willing sparring partner. In fact, the firebender was so anxious to please he too often left himself open to Katara's abuse. While this may have been unintentional, it was also annoying, and the young Avatar was determined to see it end.

_I can see what's happening . . . _

Toph shook her head, leaning against a pillar. "Hey, for now, I say it's just best to ignore it," she said.

_What?_

"But how can I solve the world's problems if I can't even get those two to make up?" Aang continued helplessly. "I know she's just trying to help, but—"

_And they don't have a clue . . . _

"Please, Twinkletoes, when a girl holds that much of a grudge, it ain't about no one else but her."

_Who?_

There were a few moments of silence while Aang's brain attempted to reboot. "What?!" It failed, just so you know.

_They'll fall in love and here's the bottom line . . . _

"I'm just saying, Katara's a lot more pissed about what _he _did to _her_ than what she thinks he might do to _you_."

"What did he do to her?!"

_Our trio's down to two._

Toph shrugged. "Probably just usual Sugar Queen stuff. She keeps going on about her mom's necklace and how he tied her to a tree. I thought you knew."

_Oh._

"I did, but . . . ." Aang shook his head. "She's mad about _that_?"

_The sweet caress of twilight . . . _

_Like the book?_

_Shhh! But yeah, like the book._

"And probably the thing about the cave."

"Whoa, what thing about the cave?! What cave was that?!"

"First off, you need to calm down. Secondly, you were the one who told me about it. You said when you rescued them from that cave in Ba Sing Se, they were standing all close like they were going to kiss or something."

Aang's voice jumped up a few octaves. "I never said that!"

"Ok, so maybe I embellished the details. I still say we leave it alone. You can't solve

everything, and you need to practice your earthbending."

"But I can solve this. I can't have my waterbending master fighting with my firebending master over something as stupid as this."

_There's magic everywhere . . . _

"Oh, no you don't," Toph said, grabbing Aang's collar. "They're big kids now. They can

solve this one their own, and it's going to be a lot more entertaining if they do."

"You think my best friend and my firebending teacher fighting is _entertaining_?! They could endanger the whole mission!!"

_And with all this romantic atmosphere . . . _

Toph only sighed. "No, but I think your crush and your best friend stuck between so much sexual tension is absolutely hilarious. They're going to have to get it out of their systems sometime."

_Disaster's in the air!_

And at that moment, the new avatar was conceived in the water tribe, the previous one having dropped dead of a heart condition or brain aneurism or massive rupture of an artery in his nose. Curious that it seems to have happened in a broom closet at the Western Air Temple. Uncanny, that.

* * *

I know what your thinking. And you should be ashamed of yourselves! Clearly, the Zutara has gotten to your brains, and you've been blinded to the possible meanings of Toph's last statement. 

Sorry. Pointless Zutara crack. Had to get it out of my system. Carry on!

[And by carry on, I mean review, or you'll find yourself in the way of a herd of stampeding lemmings, which, incidentally, are not so cute and cuddly when you are standing between them and a cliff. I mean . . . um . . . kittens?


	3. Trees Make Good Company

Disclaimer : If I owned Avatar, OzaiTree would definitely get more screen time.

Idea again came from my firend, thinking of 'Zuko Alone,' I just added the part about Azula.

So it isn't Zutara, but my favorite pairing needs some loving, too. Yes, I have a favorite pairing, and no, it's not Zutara.

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**Trees Make Good Company**

* * *

The death of Fire Lord Azulon was perhaps not so much a surprise to some, for though he was in very good health, two ambitious sons were as dangerous as any cancer. 

And there was also the fact that Ozai was overheard in confidence with his wife, and singing a very odd song in his chambers the night Fire Lord Azulon died.

_But we're talking kings and successions _

_Even you can't be caught unawares _

"You're going to do it." It was not a question. "You really are going to kill your own son. Your own blood."

"It is by order of the Fire Lord." There was a deadly calm in his voice, lacking the pain and anguish that could be seen in his wife's eyes.

"You know, you would not have to," she began, her eyes darkening in a way Ozai had never seen, "if you were Fire Lord . . . ." She let the thought dangle, bait for a hungry moose-lion.

_So prepare for a chance of a lifetime _

_Be prepared for sensational news _

The next day Fire Lord Azulon was dead, Princess Ursa was gone, Prince Zuko was very much alive, Ozai was Fire Lord, and he could finally be with his one true love, Tree.

_Decades of denial _

_Is simply why I'll _

_Be king undisputed _

_Respected, saluted _

_And seen for the wonder I am _

It is strange, for he must have taught the song to his daughter, who had been heard singing it before the Fall of Ba Sing Se.

_So prepare for the coup of the century _

_Be prepared for the murkiest scam _

_Meticulous planning _

_Tenacity spanning _

Mai quickly slapped a hand over Ty Lee's mouth, the other girl having been prepared to jump into the chorus. "When she's like this, it's just better to let her be."

_Yes, my teeth and ambitions are bared _

_Be prepared!_

* * *

You didn't know my favorite pairing was OzaiTree? For shame, it is the One True Ship! 

Stop looking at me like that!

And for your information, OzaiTree is totally canon! Notice, after his wife disappeared, Ozai was obviously consumed with secret grief, and went to Tree for comfort!

Tree, your future Fire Lady, now demands that you review!


End file.
